More gags from Army Laughs, September, 1963…

From a piece called Quips and quotes, by Bud Harvey: …but to a small boy in London we can only offer our sympathies. The lad accidentally swallowed a live moth, then quickly swallowed a moth ball  to “catch” it. When tests showed both moth AND ball in his tummy, a doctor came up with this remark: “All this goes to show that if a patient complains of butterflies in his stomach, he might well be right.”

Last, but not least, are words from a lady in New Jersey who is having a bit of a quarrel with words. She claims that the term “vice-chairlady” is an awkward phrase and wants to replace it with the plain term of “vice-chairman.” Says the distraught N.J. lady: “It has embarrassed me to be introduced as vice-lady, vice-chairlady, and even chairlady of vice.”

A final joke from Army Laughs, September, 1963: Disclosures of graft and corruption in a certain city were making police officers careful. One policeman stopped a lady driver to examine her license. Noting that the license specified that she wears glasses, which she wasn’t, he said, “You should be wearing glasses.”

“I have contacts,” the lady answered.

“I don’t care who you know,” snapped the officer. “You have to wear glasses.”

– See Army Laughs magazine, September, 1963. Volume 15, number 8.