More jokes from Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields…

A BLOKE [a guy] goes into a chemist’s shop and asks for a cake of soap. 

“Would you like it scented?” asked the chemist.

“No, thanks,” says the bloke, “I’ll take it with me.”

A YOUNG hippy bloke was up before the local beak [judge].

“Do you have a job?” asked the magistrate.

“Yes and no,” shrugged the young bloke.

“Well, where do you work?”

“Here and there.”

“Doing what?”

“This and that.”

The magistrate was losing his patience. “When do you work?” he demanded.

“Now and then.”

The magistrate sat back in his chair and said, “Take him away and lock him up.”

“What?” exclaimed the young bloke. “When will I get out?”

“Sooner or later,” said the magistrate.

“IS THAT the fire brigade?”

“Yes, sir, Can I help you?”

“Yes. Come quick! Me house is on fire!”

“Yes, sir, How do we get there?”

“Whadda yer mean, how do you get ‘ere? You’ve got one o’ them big red fire engines, ain’t yer?”

-continued next page