More jokes from Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields…

A MAN rushed up to the ticket window at the railway station.

“Quick, I’m in a hurry!” he said. “Give me a return ticket!”

“Where to!” asked the booking clerk.

“Where to?” said the man. “Why, to back here, of course!”

…THE SAME feller gets the sack, so he has a go at busking.

He’s standing there on a street corner, happily playing his banjo, when a copper walks up to him. “Do you have a licence to play the banjo in the street?” asks the copper.

“No,” says the bloke.

“In that case,” says the policeman, “I must ask you to accompany me.”

“Certainly, mate,” says the bloke. “What would you like to sing?”

A FATHER overheard his little boy saying his prayers. The boy said: “God bless mummy, daddy, grandma and goodbye grandad.”

Next day, grandad died.

The father listened to the little boy next night. He said: “God bless mummy, daddy, and goodbye grandma.”

Next day, grandma died.

That night the father was shocked to hear the little boy say: “God bless mummy, and goodbye daddy.”

Next day the father was very careful in everything he did. When he arrived home his wife said: “What a day! The milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning!”

-See Maurie Fields’ collections of traditional Australian jokes, like Dinkum Aussie Yarns. His books would be interesting to anyone who likes analysing classic gags. Some of these date to World War One and earlier.