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The Two Ronnies p3

Here are some samples from More of The Two Ronnies, The best of the Ronnies’ Dialogue, published in 1977 by Star Books. About 41 writers contributed gags to this book, including Ronnie Barker.

RC: Tonight’s tug of war between England and France may have to be cancelled if nobody can find a twenty-six mile rope.

RB: The teeth of a prehistoric mammoth were found today in Sussex. ..Not only are they the world’s oldest teeth but they were found in the world’s largest glass of water.

RC: Reports that British doctors are trying to specialise in too many branches of medicine were denied today by Doctor Cedric Milford, an ear, nose, throat, dandruff and belly button consultant.

RB: Here is a news flash just come in: Milk bottles were thrown at a meeting of the Milk Marketing Board this afternoon and a meeting of the Egg Marketing Board was also broken up when eggs were thrown. A mass meeting of the Manure Marketing Board has been cancelled.

RB: The B.M.A. [British Medical Association] has asked us to give a simple piece of advice to men wishing to avoid falling hair. Get out of the way.

RC: …a husband claimed he’d seen the milkman put his arm around his wife three times. Dismissing the case, the judge said no milkman had an arm that long.

RB: Today’s anniversaries: Jimmy Tarbuck received a telegram from the Queen. His jokes were exactly one hundred years old.

These gags can be a bit corny and sometimes they’re a bit dated, but there are a lot of fun gags in these books. And for people interested in learning how to write gags, the jokes in the books provide a good model. The model comes in a box and is 1:16 scale.  

– readersvoice.com