// you’re reading...


Maurie Fields p2

Some more shorter samples from Leave ’em Laughing, a collection of gags from Maurie Fields, from the pages of Australasian Post, which ceased publication in 2002 …

THE FAMILY counsellor was doing his best to save the marriage.

“Tell me,” he said to the husband, “when did you first notice you and your wife were having problems?”

The man thought for a moment and replied. “It was right after we bought a water bed. We just started drifting apart.”


A LITTLE old lady stopped a young man at a busy intersection.

“Excuse me, young man,” she said. “Can you see me across the street?”

Without a word, the young bloke ran across the road, dodging the moving traffic with practised ease. And standing on the opposite corner, he shouted: “Yes, I can see you from here!”


A CAB driver waved down by the police carrying out a random road check produced his license as requested.

The policeman scanned it, then looked at the driver and said: “According to this, you should be wearing glasses.”

“That’s right,” said the driver.

“Well, why aren’t you wearing glasses?”

“I’ve got contacts,” said the driver.

“Don’t give me that,” frowned the policeman. “I don’t care who you know. WHERE ARE YOUR GLASSES?”

-continued next page