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Tales from the Bagel Lancers, 1967

Here are some Yiddish jokes from Tales from the Bagel Lancers by Gerry Blumenfeld, published 1967, Paperback Library, New York. There are some very good jokes in this book if you can find a copy.

The book is: Dedicated with affection to my husband, Harold, who has generously shared my joys, my sorrows, and my royalties.

The NEW office boy was sent out for a container of coffee and a Danish. He set the bag on the boss’s desk. Turning to Mr Buxbaum, he said, “Isn’t this beautiful weather we’re having?”

The boss snapped, “We? All of sudden you’re a partner?”

JOE LAURIE, JR., was a poor speller. On the top of his stationery he had printed: “I have no use for people who spell words only one way.”

A FAMOUS psychiatrist, a Dr. Coopersmith, told one of his patients, an interior decorator, that he could not treat her any more. She was always moving the couch around and this upset him.

“I’D LIKE you to hear a song I just composed,” announced Al to his friend.

“What’s the name of it?”

“‘Irving the Fork’.”

“‘Irving the Fork’?” gulped the friend. “What kind of a name is that for a song?”

“Why,” responded Al confidently, “‘Mack the Knife’ did okay, didn’t it?”